Today's DeMotivation

A Field Guide...

A handy helper from MOTHER JONES to help you differentiate between the varying degrees of violation.

The Real Reason

I can't wonder how many more people would support the president's health care reforms if they had been labeled "Now You Don't Have to Worry about Being Dead or Destitute Because You Were Unlucky Enough to Get Sick" instead of being named after a black man.

A Glimpse into Hell

http://youtu.be/Vx5A6WMFzig

Today's Great Contradictions

1. An Evangelical talking about his "orthodox Christianity."

2. Size 15 skinny jeans.

Question

Was Mitt Romney the best thing that the Republicans could come up with?

Genetic Sequencing

The ability to decode a person's complete genetic blueprint will be the death of health insurance as we know it in America.

Even though an insurance provider can't play the old PRE-EXISTING CONDITION card anymore, they sure as Hell can charge individuals more.

Imagine what an actuary can do with the knowledge that the very proteins in your body have the pre-wiring to one day become cancerous.

Today's Thought...

Sexy

Sexy isn't a measurement; it's an attitude.

Another Coaching Thought...

From Ed Warriner at Ohio State:

"Kids don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

A Borrowed Thought

A thought from Coach Mike Leach...

"There's no such thing as a perfect game in football. I don't even think there's such a thing as the perfect play. You have 11 guys between the ages of 18 and 22 trying to do something violent and fast together, usually in pain. Someone is going to blow an assignment or do something that's not quite right."

Strength Coaching Observations

* Any football coach who doesn't emphasize neck strengthening should probably be sued for criminal negligence.

* Simpler is better. Thank you Dan John, Jim Wendler, and Greg Shephard (sp?) for this truth.

* Any former major college football player who bases a high school training program completely on what he did in college has been brainwashed.
He has obviously forgotten that he was stronger than the majority of his high school opponents, anyway. His college program didn't take him from weak to strong. It took him from strong to stronger.
Use a program designed for beginners, not one designed to polish elite athletes.

* If you are coaching a kid in the weight room and volunteer information about how much you used to lift, you are just an asshole.

My God..

I have a dream that someday I will work for a organization where adults act like adults and treat other adults like adults.

Is that too much to ask?

DOOMSDAY PREPPERS...

I know that it's really just a reality show, but couldn't the producers of DOOMSDAY PREPPERS have found more folks who weren't completely off their frakking rockers to profile?

Abandon All Hope..

After the class has finished reading THE RED BADGE OF COURAGE...

MALE STUDENT: Mr. Polecat, you just need to find us a more interesting book to read next time.

POLECAT: What could be more interesting than a book that talks about faces and arms and legs getting blown off and is full of dead bodies?

MALE STUDENT: I guess I am just not that into books.

The End is Nigh...

All the second and third graders at a dance in The Backwoods of the World know every damn word to I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT.

How long until December 21?

Busted...

Nothing says "White Trash Drug Bust" like the supplies all being carried in Wal-Mart bags.

Contraceptive Options...

Maybe the contraceptive option that Obama and the League of Roman Pederasts could agree on would be to issue "Property of Jesus" panties and boxers.

What could kill the mood faster than that?

Valentine's Day, Part One

Valentine's Day at a high school. Gods help us as every schoolboy crush finds potency and the guts to profess undying affection to unworthy little girls. Even the social outcast that a teacher discovered masturbating in the boys' restroom is feeling Cupid's call.

Cafeteria Observations...

Fellow Teacher (observing that a pair of hygiene-impaired students have been sitting together in the lunchroom):
They have been sitting together every morning.

Me:
Can you imagine what the bedroom of their trailer is going to smell like?

Sex Changes...

When a man has a sex change operation, can he custom order the size of his new vagina?

Can he request to have his clitoral hood look like a little snout? Can he ask for a little extra roast beef?